Different.

Its different. Things feel different since the day we said our goodbyes. Had a farewell brunch which was a success, and in return a few tears. For the very first time everyone witnessed our guys crying. It was overwhelming to know that they aren't robots afterall. Two and a half years, I spent my mornings and afternoons with endless gossips, laughs, sarcastic jokes, silent treatments, and the day finally came and its over.

I don't think I've been myself lately, I have been a little quiet at some point. I admit I am still feeling sad for not seeing 12 other faces everyday, and another 12 faces of the other group, not forgetting the instructors. Its just different. I am missing these 24 people I have known for the past two and half years, we've grown together as a family and now, what's left is just memories, both good and bad. Well, I do hope everyone is fine and wish all of you the best of luck in whatever you do.

 

"we laughed at the beginning, and ended up crying our eyes out at the end of the day"

Mood Swings.

I tend to get bored easily lately. There is like limited things to do in the evening nowadays. You know that feeling when you feel like you need to do something and go somewhere just for the sake of not getting bored? That's me right now. I am bored shitless right now, I have no idea what to do. I've done my preparations for tomorrow's function and there's nothing left to do. I haven't showered since I got back from college, and I feel so freakin' lazy right now. *sighs. College ends in about 48 hours. I feel relief and sad at the same time. I don't know what I am right now. As of now, I feel pissy and all that. I don't know what's with the mood swings right now. It sucks!

...what lies within

Disturbed.

I still don't get it sometimes, when you know and you think it's inappropriate to text or call someone who is committed already, and say words like "i miss you". What are you trying to say actually? I know its like a friend thing, but don't you think that at some point the other party would find out and find it a little disturbing don't you think? Once an ex, always and ex, I admit I do this sometimes, but I actually don't say these words. I just tend to ask how are they doing, and don't actually bring up the whole "do you remember this and that and how we used to this and do that bla bla bla" crap.

I find it inappropriate and I find it a little disturbing when a third party says "i know this may come inappropriate, but i miss you".

In my opinion, if you do know and think its inappropriate, think before you actually do these things, cause these things could jeopardize something that is intact and running smoothly. There's always a reason why we don't hear from people that we've known for quite sometime already, cause maybe, just maybe they think its wise to not hurt one's feelings.

Freaking Out.

I'm freaking out and scared, went to the study fair this afternoon and looked for unies, found one that was available to go to and asked around. The only uni that gives out HND for my course was UWIC, the lady that was talking to me was nice. I got an application form off her. Considering the scholarship, I on the other hand don't think I can make it to the UK to further my studies. I'm having doubts in myself with my results. I don't think my GPA can get through. *sighs.

Talked to mom about how if I can't get through with the scholarship, asked her if she's willing to send me off to further my studies even if it means I've to study in KL. She said she is but I've to make a commitment with her and make promises.

The thought of leaving loved ones behind is sad and it scares me at the same time. I'm having doubts whether I'm ready for this or not. I actually don't want to leave but I do wanna leave cause its for the sake of having a brighter future. I suppose I've to swallow it all in and just get a move along with it, right?

A little somethin' somethin'.

I've been meaning to update but really I've nothing to update. *sighs. The only thing that I can think of is that I've got a week of school left and that I've got a shoot to do and it's been raining lately that we've got to reschedule like a lot of times. I got myself a simple dress yesterday, spent a little time with the mister and stayed home as per usual, I say usual as it has been like this for a couple of weeks already.

I'm all well from the fever and viral infection illness. Those antibiotics really did their jobs. I've got to think of what I need to be doing after the 26th. I know I'll be busy next week as it is my cousin's wedding.

Well I think I should be off now, figure out things to do.

Toodles!

It is coming to an end.

The end is near my friends. 26th November is just round the corner and we won't be seeing each other as much as we normally do. Its sad to know that two and a half years have come to an end, but the days we've spent together and the moments we've been through together will always be great memories. Good luck everyone with your future.

Its a little too soon.

I love the feeling to this picture, I like the wall paper and oh must I say last weekend was a good one. *smiles. It's 3:54am and I am suppose to be asleep, but I just finished watching 7 episodes of Eastwick. I find it a good series, and I wish I had powers.

I've been doing great since the last hospital visit, doing just fine. I'm thankful for it. College's pretty much over, I've got to sort out my leaving certificate and its sad how two and a half years actually have passed. It just felt like yesterday that I entered college. I don't think I'd be seeing everyone that much anymore after our last day.*sighs. Why does it have to end huh?

I guess its time to say our goodbyes pretty soon. The part which everyone hates.

Scared.

I saw study in UK banner today on the road while I was out with the mister. I told that I've got to go there to look for uni cause I am still thinking of furthering my studies. 10-15 minutes passed by, and I was pretty quiet. He noticed the silence and asked what's up.

I said with honesty, that I was scared of leaving home though I've been dying to. I'm scared of leaving home and scared of leaving everyone behind, but I've gotta do what I've gotta do to pursue my studies don't I? And the fact that I've to leave him behind as well, that made me more scared. *sighs

But hey, let's hope for the best. Hope everything goes as planned.

Medical Attention.

At last, I got some proper medical attention last night. Fever and pain did not want to go away and I've no idea what's the cause - until now though, but glad that we went for a second visit last night eventhough it took us 5 hours plus to be in the hospital.

I got a tube of blood taken, two tubes of piss taken, x-rays taken, a huge syringe of antibiotics given and a bottle of iv fluid given. Feeling a tad bit better, though I had to go through shit load of pain with the needles. Atleast this time I've got all the medical attention I needed.

Now my hand hurts cause of the aftermath of that stupid iv fluid needle. *sighs.

Well I must thank the mister for bringing me back and forth to the hospital and taking care of me, eventhough he had nothing to do while waiting, actually he did, but he didn't bother to play his PSP. *giggles.

Syukur Alhamdulillah.

And so, all the results for the end test last month came out and I am very satisfied with it.

Event Management = Distinction
Tour Operation = Merit
World Tourism = Merit
Sustainable Tourism = Merit
Introduction to Management = Pass
Marketing for Tourism = Pass


This is all for written paper, overall results are not out yet. *fingers crossed.

It has to stop.

I'm tired. Tired to have to feed myself with Panadol. I've had atleast 16 tablets since Tuesday night already. *sigh. Last night, I felt like puking it all out. Its not a nice feeling. Eugh!

Results.

I fell sick last night, like suddenly fell sick. I was actually feeling alright at first, went to fetch the boyfriend, headed to the tailor, went for dinner, this is when I started to feel cold when its actually warm already. Kept on whining and complaining how cold it was. Had to get myself a blankie before we went to watch a movie. I seriously fell sick last night, it was so sudden that it made me look oh so fucked. *sighs

But now, I'm feeling much better. Head's doing fine, temperature under control, hope it was just a 12 hour fever thing. *fingers crossed.

Oh and today, I was told that I got a Merit for my Sustainable Tourism's End Test. *smiles.

 So that means, three merits and a pass for 4 subjects on my end test.

Tour Operations: Merit
World Tourism: Merit
Introduction to Management: Pass
Sustainable Tourism: Merit
Event Management:
Marketing for Tourism:

Just two more subjects to wait for.

Random.

I managed to go for my Language and Communication's final assessment which is the interview this morning. I think I did well, and just after that I went straight to the boyfriend's to disturb him sleep until I fall asleep myself. *smiles

So we woke up at about lunch time and went out for a little, went back to his place after getting stuff and got things done just then.

Headed back home to an empty house, well just the little ones and maid. Stared into the laptop, and still am, well showered ofcourse, and still downloading series. Getting a little bored right about now. *giggles.

Recent Boards Blades Battle 2009.

Board Blades Battle 2009 from Bahrum Jaili on Vimeo.

Play this too!

Good bye October.

It's the month of November already, and that just means that 2009 is about to end pretty soon. I have been quite busy with my personal life lately and I must say I am in my most happiest state ever. There's projects coming up and two more school assessments to go.

Tomorrow's the Language and Communication Interview which I've to look for my certificates by now, and Tuesday's a final assessment on Sustainable Tourism and it's a case study.

Things have been great, attended a few events already, and its quite a change of scene. Next weekend is Naz's annual gathering, and the next weekend is Micbandits' gig. I'm a little excited for Naz's thing, but I've yet to pull some strings together for the theme. *sighs I think I can manage. Well I think so.

Last night was Pelangi Awards and I must say it was a success and went to a little Halloween gathering just after and went back home just as planned, by 2 a.m. *smiles.

I guess that's for now. I'll rant some more next time.