My yesterday..

I know i haven't updated what happened yesterday. So hold onto your seat and have the shock of your day today.

Went to work as usual. Mum picked me up from work and from there, my life just fucked up even more.

Mum: So how's work?
Me: Its okay. Nothing much.
Mum: No one at work you could talk to or anything?
Me: Nope. Cause semua tua-tua and boring.
Mum turns down the volume and said : Can i talk to you?
Me: Why not?
Mum: This is not about me, but this is about you. Is there something you want to tell me about?
Me: Nope
Mum: Sure? Because i know what you have been doing.
Me: Like?
Mum: Drinking!?

and it went on and on until we reached home. Ofcourse i brokedown. And she said i had to confront dad and come clean. Well after lunch went back to work. Feeling fucked and everything else.

Didn't have anyone to talk to. So i just blurted out some to Koo and Kay. Which still didn't satisfy me much. Cause their not the person who i'd usually run to. Sigh. If only Azmil is still around, he'll always help me in any situation. Sigh.

So after work, i went home and i left for Bunut around 6.
While driving otw to Bunut, i was thinking to myself whether it was the right move to do, sending off his stuff, well some really, i still kept a few of his shirts. Nyeh, i couldnt resist but keep some. And i realise from that moment i am missing and losing someone i truly care about. And as i reached his place, Ka Lina came out and i passed her his stuff and asked "this is the right thing to do right?" and she said yeah and passed me my jacket and said "Take it easy yeah?" and i just gave her like a broken smile. And i left.

As i drove away, tears started to come down. I miss that boy and i don't even know when will i ever see him again.

I went to my grands for abit and headed home.
And i confronted my dad. Which led to an hour and a half lecture.
Started off with drinking, to smoking, to break ups, school and everything else.
And i apologised for what i've been doing.

I still feel crappy, eventhough i've come clean.
I need Azmil. I need Azmil to talk to. I know he'll understand my situation better than anyone else. Sigh.

Azmil Maidin, please? :(