Wrapped in Words.

The Release.

2012-02-01T11:37:00.001+08:00

And you will never find out how much tears came down falling from these eyes.

And today, I tried.

2012-01-31T21:55:00.000+08:00

No matter how many times your heart gets broken, disappointed and hurt, your heart just tolerates with the pain over and over again. To feel pain just means to be stronger - and today, I let it happen to me because I know I can handle it.

To lose to an argument and to apologise first, does not mean you lost the war, it just means you are being the bigger person - who let their ego go.

That's what I learned today.

It has been awhile

2012-01-06T22:21:00.001+08:00

I've been leaving the blog for quite sometime now, been at least five months since I last logged in and had something to write up about.

A year has gone and a new year has just begun. So what has the year 2011 taught, brought and all that other things? I would say, 2011 has its ups and downs.

The ups ; I entered a university to further my studies, made new friends, survived living in Malaysia - away from the family back in Brunei, lived in a very small studio in Bangsar for the whole year, my partner is around with me in Malaysia, worked on set a few times, traveled to Bangkok for the first time, moved into a bigger place at the end of the year and more.

The downs ; I lost a dearest friend in July, who's birthday was three days ago (0301) - *air poke* Miss you, Aliff Ramlan! , made friends with untrustworthy people, slacked during third semester and I can't think of anything else.

I'd say, I had a great 2011, and somehow feel the little changes in my life, in which I think is for the better rather than for the worst. I've cut down on a few things as of late, and I think that's good.

So 2012, new year's resolution? Nothing really, I couldn't come up with any, but I guess I'll go by with whatever-mistakes-you-did-in-2011-don't-repeat-them-again-in-2012.

I think that should be it, I don't think resolutions actually help, to be honest I can't remember my 2011 resolutions. HA! Its more like, go with the flow, whatever/wherever life brings you is more like it for this year, I think? That's how things should be - more relaxed and laid back, but I must not be too comfortable with it.

Rest In Peace.

2011-07-02T14:18:00.002+08:00

Photo taken in August 2009.

Aliff Ramlan at the top middle.

It has been awhile since I felt like this. The start of July isn't really the greatest, and I never thought I would be greeting the month with grief.

Yesterday morning, I received unfortunate news from my mother. She bring me news that one of my brother's best friend passed away in a car crash. I was in shocked and could not get back to my sleep after.

Its heavy inside, knowing that the fact your brother practically grew up with this guy and this guy is fortunate enough to be a family friend. I really don't know how to react but I know I should be there for my brother as we all share his grief.

Aliff Ramlan, you were a good friend, the nicest and kindest person I've met and known. You will always be remembered and missed by many. I am grateful to have shared great times with my brother and you and the rest of smssa gang. We went through a whole lot together that bunch of us, from being friends with each others siblings to being a part of the family. You are missed, Liff!

May you rest in peace.

I don't think anyone can come up with foul memories of you because you were truly a nice guy.

The Boy who became a Man.

2011-05-06T03:54:00.000+08:00

What I have is not a boy, but a Man - who stands by me through all my ups and downs. This journey in life we have been through together has been the greatest and nothing else can beat what we have, and I am happy to say that, we have taken a step ahead of what we have. There is nothing else I could ask for but You.

2011-03-03T19:16:00.000+08:00

Here goes nothing..

2011 ; here goes nothing.

2011-01-19T20:39:00.000+08:00

Million miles away from home. I just took one step closer to adulthood. Living alone in the big city of Malaysia, I am determined to go home with flying colors, for this is my opportunity to show those who believe in me and I am determined that I will bring home a Degree!

I have to say, I am in the right pathway in my life, as I dreamed to hold such certificate at the age of atleast 25. I am coming 22 this year, therefore, by the time I am 25, I have graduated with a Degree. I am so excited to finish up and get a stable job. This is so going to be an epic moment in my life, and if I get the chance to, I would like to finish up to Masters, if everything goes well.

No doubt about being homesick, it sucks big time here, living alone. Everyday, coming home from Uni would suck and waking up as well. There's literally noone to talk to at my new home, the only thing that keeps me company is my laptop and cell. That's it.

I miss my family, I miss my boyfriend and I miss my boys. I miss home so badly.

Random Much.

2010-11-26T01:14:00.000+08:00

I apologize for being MIA for a long long time! I have been too busy with life, with preparing myself for Uni and catching up with some friends. It has been awhile since I actually typed, I guess the only reason I am typing tonight is just because I'm back at home, and tomorrow's the big night for my brother - He's gonna tie the knot!

As of my love life, things have been fine, oh so fine. Not regretting anything about it, but at the same time, a bit shaky on my side cause I am actually leaving pretty soon. *sigh. Just about another month to go. I hope, both me and Koo, can work things out. *fingers crossed.

Awesome!

2010-10-02T21:48:00.000+08:00

Taken from Bmobile's 2nd Annual Dinner last Saturday night (25th Sept).

Awesome Possum night for sure!

Eid 2010.

2010-09-10T01:04:00.000+08:00

Selamat Menyambut Hari Raya Aidil Fitri!

Happy Eid Fitr All the Muslims around the world!

Happy Fasting on Thursday!

2010-08-10T22:58:00.000+08:00

Baby Gibbon!

2010-08-04T13:38:00.000+08:00

The cutest little furry creature I've ever held in my life while we (Me, KJc, P, B) were back in Samui.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder.

2010-08-03T20:22:00.002+08:00

A part of you has grown in me.
And so you see, it's you and me
Together forever and never apart,
Maybe in distance, but never in heart.

Day 4.

2010-08-02T22:27:00.000+08:00

the nights are long, my days are cold,
without the warmth you provide me, when I hold you in my arms it feels so long ago.

i am missing you.

Day 3.

2010-08-01T16:14:00.002+08:00

i miss your kisses.

410th Post.

2010-07-15T16:38:00.000+08:00

Just thought I'd give something to write about. I've passed my three months probation at bmobile. I will be turning the big twenty one in eleven days and will be flying off in also eleven days. This is a short post. *smiles

Birthday Trip!

2010-07-11T13:06:00.000+08:00

Oh yeah! I'll be leaving with the Mister on the 26th this month, we'll be off to Thailand, alongside his best friend Paul and the other lot. Finally, I managed to get a "yes" from mum for this trip and I am super happy that I can go! Hoyeah! This is going to be a good trip eventhough I'll be flying back home alone. This trip is gonna be worth it I swear!

Here's to another 15 days! =)

Congratulations!

2010-06-27T11:38:00.000+08:00

Congratulations to them inliners, for taking the 1st, 2nd and 3rd place

at the DiGi Live Tour Extreme in KK!

Random Rants.

2010-06-26T15:54:00.000+08:00

Second post of the day. That's how bored I am at work at the moment.

The world is getting weirder each and everyday, after talking to a friend yesterday, its safe to say, you can't trust anyone wholeheartedly, no matter how close you've been, cause every each and one of us will somehow stab each other in the back for some reason.

The world is getting cruel with everyone. I've noticed that all of my circle of friends are dispersing away from each other for either good or bad reasons, we can't help but outgrow our own lifestyle, how we socialize and shit. But its good to know, some people do try to keep in touch.

Oh, summer holiday started already, and you know what that means!

Before I Get Too Lazy.

2010-06-26T13:39:00.000+08:00

And so, I finally decided to type something today, even though there's pretty much nothing to talk about. The mister's off to KK yesterday, Mum and Dad came back from Perth yesterday and here I am pirating away in the office.

I have been doing great so far. Its my third month of working, never thought it has been that long. Probation's gonna be over pretty soon, and I hope that I can take leave at the end of next month. I'm still gonna try and go for that Bangkok trip! I so need a vacation!

World Cup's on going, who are you rooting for? I'm not too sure, but I was supporting Portugal but they're out already, and I'm left with rooting for Spain and Brazil. Well I hope these two teams meet at the finals. That's so gonna be one chaotic game.

So, what's new world?

365.

2010-06-02T13:29:00.000+08:00

Happy 365th Day of being Us.

Enjoy!

2010-06-02T13:27:00.002+08:00

30/05/10 Beach-in from jinchen koo on Vimeo.

And I Quote!

2010-05-10T21:04:00.000+08:00

"...for as long as we exist girl"

KJc.

Hello May!

2010-05-05T19:18:00.000+08:00

And I have realised that I have not been typing that much lately, well eversince I started working really. This was taken last week, we decided to go to Miri, and dragged me cousin along with us, since he lives in Kaybee. I went to do my shopping while the boys did their thing.

Spent about BND$200, which I managed to get a pair of Nike's. *grins. Anyhooters, its been a good lately, though things can some times be a bitch, but all is well. Alhamdulillah. The internet at home sucks right now. Eugh! Well, I guess I leave you to this.

PS: Belle, we want you to come home, I had an idea for your trip back home, this time no photoshoot, but something special, therefore, I need you to come home!!

Graduation.

2010-04-23T19:13:00.000+08:00

And so, I have finally walked on stage to receive my National Diploma in Travel and Tourism Services. It was a great day to remember, the day we all graduated, the day we received our certificates and also it was the day to share with family, lover and friends. I am proud of myself and I am happy and grateful that both my mum and dad were there to witness it and not forgetting the amazing lover, KJc.

Tears and smiles were shared in the hall, and I definitely would say, I shared a great amount of smiles, tears and also laughter. It was the day that everyone was waiting for. Lastly, I'd like to say, Congratulations to the graduates and also my group mates for graduating, we sure did show our lecturers that we can make it through!

Class of 2007-2009.

Bundle of Joy!

2010-04-16T16:23:00.000+08:00

Dayangku Alyaa Adrianna Fitri Pengiran Zainol Asri.

Born: 16th April 2010 @ 1337Hrs.

3.545kg, 49cm.

Work.

2010-04-03T04:31:00.000+08:00

It is 430 am, and I am as of now getting ready for work. Yes, I repeat, work! Its okay cause I'm gonna have my off day on Monday! *jumps with joy! Work is good so far, Alhamdulillah. The weather right now is really tempting me to go back to sleep! Its raining outside. *sighs. Well I should jet now. Talk soon!

The HE.

2010-03-31T14:55:00.000+08:00

The HE who I'd run to when things go wrong and when things crumble down to my feet. He'll always be there for me no matter how far or near. There's never a distant I wouldn't go through just to be with him just for a hug.

July July July.

2010-03-24T20:50:00.000+08:00

I start work next Thursday, pretty excited but scared at the same time. I know I'm ready for it, but I'm not so sure how ready I am.

This job is so gonna be worth it. At the very least, I've got stable income coming and I can go for that Thailand trip hopefully, which reminds me, I need to look for some people to accompany me on going. *sighs.

So, Thailand in July, any takers?

Nothing Compares.

2010-03-21T03:06:00.000+08:00

Hello, I Love You!

Weekend.

2010-03-20T16:45:00.001+08:00

Just mucking around with a new photo editing software, and I find it pretty easy to utilize. Its okay, does the job good. It helps with my laziness in photoshop. Happy Saturday!

...Loving You is what I do best

Just another one.

2010-03-19T18:34:00.000+08:00

Better Everyday from jinchen koo on Vimeo.

Alhamdulillah.

2010-03-18T17:03:00.000+08:00

I'm so grateful today, woke up next to the boyfriend, and a phone call from b.mobile for a job. A great start to the day I reckon. I met up with some of my girls last night. It was all fun and laughter all the way, although there was a slight awkward moment, but it was good.

Glad to make it last night and thankful for the call today. *smiles.

Think Think Think!

2010-03-17T13:06:00.000+08:00

I was going to post something last night, but then I didn't know what to talk about. *sighs. I had a good start this week, filled with craziness and silliness with the Lover, Friend and Cousins. It was a good night the other night. Although the end of the night turned ugly for me. *giggles.

On a random note, I'm still waiting for a job! I so need a job, I need the shitloads of money to go traveling! *sighs. I so wanna make Thailand in July happen! *sighs.

Don't You Worry.

2010-03-15T02:35:00.000+08:00

Don't you worry about a thing, because, no matter what happens, I'll always run back to you, and my reason of that is because you mean the whole world to me and you are so damn important in my life. So, don't you worry, I'm not going anywhere, cause boy, I'm planning on staying for a very long long time.

I love you, Koo Jinchen!

Its Amazing!

2010-03-14T21:57:00.000+08:00

Lust Skate Studio from jinchen koo on Vimeo.

Filmed and Edited by Koo Jinchen.

Acceptance.

2010-03-11T04:56:00.000+08:00

Some of the times, in this present day, I think, I think about why some of us have differences when it comes to accepting facts of people, accepting the past of people. I just don't understand it entirely. I don't expect to understand it through out my life. But some of the times, I try to accept the facts and the past, but it usually does not work that well, because everyone, I know everyone has their insecurities when it comes to accepting things.

So here I am, still awake and trying to figure out and contemplating with the facts and the past of people. I keep asking myself, am I ready to accept these facts and the past? I don't know, when I will be ready to accept it, but I sure am insecure. That's what I've learned from my past. I have the highest level of insecurity that no one has come across. I guess that's just the way I am.

Fingers crossed.

2010-03-08T23:50:00.000+08:00

I finally got my laptop back, after say almost three months away to get it repaired. Pretty relieved that its back. I've been waiting for it to get done since forever. Anyhoots, I've got another interview tomorrow, work interview and I hope I get it. The last two interviews didn't go pretty well since I never got a call back from them. *sighs.

Things have been alright for me, been staying over at the mister's and all of that, and I'm still planning on going for that Thailand holiday. I'm still gonna ask until I get a yes from the big bosses.

Relieved

2010-03-02T16:01:00.000+08:00

I just got back from staying over the mister's and went to check up on my laptop at CFK, and they said it'll be back say this weekend, therefore I can pick it up this coming Monday. OHYEAH! *grins. Anyways, we sent off Ezra to the airport today, he's been here for almost two months or so, been good having him around as well. The Yaris is in the workshop, cause the front bumper is falling off, so I had to get it fixed. It'll be done by Thursday or Friday morning. It sucks not having a car at home. *sighs.

SO the big highlight of the day is, I got a hold of my transcript today! I am happy with what I managed to get in those two and a half years in MTSSR. I managed to get a distinction, ten merits and five passes, with a total of 1.75 GPA. Its a tough wanting to get onto that scholarship with that GPA. At the very least I got my back up plan going on already. All I need to do now is just go out to KL with dad to look for a decent Uni again, although I've got my heart of going to UCSI. That's it for now i suppose.

Out of boredom.

2010-02-28T23:39:00.000+08:00

Okay so, I got a hold of a memory card reader, therefore I could transfer some long overdue pictures onto my hard disk! Well pictures are taken from New Year's night up until few weeks ago. So let's go take a ride through some pictures that I got. By the way, pictures are taken by none other than, Koo Jinchen. :)

back at KJc's.

Can you guess whether this picture is taken during the day or at night?

It is just me, my lover and my friend.

ATF Dinner Rehearsal and oh Happy 21st Birthday to Dk. Ratna on the 28th of Feb!

And here's our little grown up babies!

Blabbering.

2010-02-24T14:25:00.000+08:00

I know I have been missing in action with my typing. Just been a little pre-occupied doing things at the very moment. My laptop is still away, and it sucks! Well, I had the best weekend ever last week.

We - KJc, myself and Ezra, drove down to Miri on Saturday. It was sort of a last minute plan, if you consider three days before is last minute though. But yes, we managed to drove down to Miri and arrived in Miri before schedule. *smiles. Checked in at Gloria Hotel and walked around town and a couple of drinks at Barcelona. Invited Freddy to join us and he did. So went back to the hotel to change and shower. Headed out again to have dinner at Soho. Oh my god, the steak was so yummy! After the whole meeting up Freddy and dinner, we all headed out to Cherry Berries. I've got to say, I'm surprised how I can manage to go around Miri on my own, without parental supervision. This has to be the start of my first holiday with my boyfriend alone, and I gotta say, it was awesome!

Anyhooters, we - the same trio - went to National Day Celebration yesterday morning, and it was a little on the downside for me, one because there wasn't any good views and second of all, the performance wasn't like it used to me, i've got to say, it was some what less than a minute's performance. What happened there? I have no idea.

Well, I guess that's about it really. Cheerios!

Lalalalalove!

2010-02-15T15:55:00.001+08:00

You and I, we might be strangers. However close we get sometimes, it's like we never met. But you and I, I think we can take it, with the good and the bad. Make something that no one else has but You and i, Me and you, what can we do? When the words we use sometimes are misconstrued. Well, i won't guess what's coming next, I can't ever tell you. The deepest well i've ever fallen into. I don't wanna know, I don't need to know - Everything about you. I don't wanna know and you don't need to know that much about me.

Ticking.

2010-02-10T11:05:00.000+08:00

Its that time of the month and I am in deep pain with the period cramps. It sucks when it comes by. It hurts like crazy and I don't really like the feeling at all. Well, who would right? I have been sleeping over at the mister's lately and I must say this is the best holiday from college ever but hey, I've got to start thinking about Uni again. I found a few and oh, I am diverting from Tourism to Mass Comm. Just because I have made an interest in the field and all that. I've got to say, looking for Uni is tough, and facing independence is tougher.

I know I've got a few more months coming until I fly off to further my studies doesn't make me not feel scared okay? Eugh! The period cramps suck! They're so distracting me right now!

Rants!

2010-02-02T20:43:00.001+08:00

I haven't been writing or typing much lately just because I have no idea what to talk about. And this is very unusual of me being at home at this hour, I guess I owe the family of my presence at home for the night. I haven't been at home lately just because I find myself suffocating in my own room. I know that doesn't sound so nice to say, but it is the fact.

Tomorrow's going to be my last day being in Brunei Tourism, well, I hope so. I want to get a proper job for one, where I get paid for what I do. Well atleast for until end of August or so. I'm planning on registering for the September intake at Lim Kok Wing.

I have no idea what I'm ranting about. I seriously need some entertainment! I need my laptop back! *sigh

I had the most weirdest dream this afternoon, so weird that I have no clue what it was all about. But all I can remember its something about a party and there was blood and cars involved, and people I know too.

2010-02-01T00:21:00.000+08:00

...and i hope things will go accordingly

Sane.

2010-01-22T00:01:00.000+08:00

It has only been say three days and today being the third day without you, and it being a long day for me, makes me feel lonely coming home to nobody. Just two more sleeps and I'll have myself wrapped around your arms again.

You're my sanity, I love you!

Little Ones.

2010-01-20T18:39:00.001+08:00

Our turtles are growing pretty fast, we've had them say about half a year now. I'm surprised how Abs is growing bigger by the week, unlike the other two. Kill is not as big as Abs, but Tiny is still Tiny.

I suppose we managed to give them right names. Oh how I wish I could show you how big they are now. Since the Mister is away, the little ones are staying over mine so that they wouldn't starve, and its a little depressing how Tiny isn't eating much again. I suppose he's trying to adjust himself to a new environment again. But I managed to make them feel like home by getting them their usual meal, the little red palettes and dried worms!

...come home soon, we - the little ones and I are missing you

This and That.

2010-01-19T23:35:00.000+08:00

I know I haven't been blogging that much lately, simply because my laptop isn't back from the supplier. *sighs. Well, things have been going alright after the wedding. Started voluntary work at Brunei Tourism, in conjunction of the ASEAN Tourism Forum that's happening this week.

The Mister left to China this morning and I have pretty much nothing to do after work, and it's feels a little different knowing that I have to drive myself to work this week just because I get to be picked up and sent to/from work by the Mister.

Its pretty quiet that he's not around but to come to think of it, it does feel nice to be away from each other once in awhile. I'm not saying that it should happen often, but this whole he's away for five days brings back old memories, its good and it feels nice.

I've got pictures I wanna transfer but I can't cause I don't have my laptop, and I have no cable for the camera as well. *sighs.

...and he said "money's not an issue when it comes to you."

Nothing but good.

2010-01-16T01:02:00.000+08:00

I am liking the start of twentyten. Things have been good so far. Everything seems to go smoothly lately. Its a good start to twetntyten I must say. Not just for me though, for quite a number of people too.

Well, I hope this year is the year for everyone to shine. Lets get things right this year.

...i like the way you put hope in to it

Thumbs Up!

2010-01-12T17:53:00.000+08:00

There is no more functions going on at home, as Sunday was the last day of all. It was a hectic and long weekend for most of us. Things went smoothly eventhough there were some glitches.

Sunday was the climax of them all. Stood around making sure everything went well and getting updates from the groom side. I have to admit, my sister looked stunning on all of her functions. She was dressed very gorgeously and her dresses were all so glamourous. Her pelamin was one of the best that I've ever seen.

I am truly happy with all this happening. I am truly happy for Nings and Aseli for their wedding. I am waiting happily for little Nings' and Aseli's running around the house.

Most importantly I am happy to involve you for all the functions.

Pictures can be seen on facebook.

Here we go again.

2010-01-07T02:33:00.000+08:00

It has been seven days since twenty-ten, I must say the celebration on welcoming the new year was quiet for us, we couldn't go anywhere cause of the whole wedding preparations. Nonetheless, the celebration wasn't that bad.

Couple of drinks with Sobs and Zul at the Mister's, counted down to twenty-ten infront of the laptop while having smokes, cruised down to Empire and just chilled by the pool, got sent back home say about six in the morning, slept in until four in the afternoon, ordered pizza, stayed in until sevenish and went back to home with a dvd and chicken from express, watched dvd, ordered another pizza, watched dvd and passed out say until noon.

I'd say that is one heck of a night, with just the lover and two good friends. Despite it was a quiet celebration, it was a good one. I've got pictures to upload, but I don't think I will for now since the ASUS is being sent to the hospital.

This week is going to be one of the most busiest weeks, with the berbedak, berinai and sanding over the weekend, I'll be running around like a headless chicken, but on the other hand it is going to be worth it cause at the end of the day, I'll have you to cuddle with after a tiring day of running around.

Farewell 2009.

2009-12-31T17:51:00.000+08:00

Well here's the last post for 2009.

This year has been kind enough to me, through the thick and thin, I can say, I survived the obstacles given throughout the twelve months. Things with the family has been nothing but great. I still can't believe I found myself being in love again, never knew it would be someone that has been there for me all those times.

Well, to everyone, have a good celebration and as quoted;

Here's to the bright New Year, and a fond farewell to the old; here's to the things that are yet to come, and to the memories that we hold, farewell 2009.

A Little Boy at Heart.

2009-12-28T22:58:00.000+08:00

I find it adorably cute when you've got that widest smile on your face like a little boy. Its so cute. If only I had a camera to take that moment and share it with the world, but its okay, I'll keep it as a mental picture instead.

Glad you called at four in the morning and drove yourself back at mine, acted like a little boy while I was cooking for you at four-thirty in the morning and not forgetting, falling asleep like a baby.

End of year.

2009-12-26T12:32:00.000+08:00

Just 5 more days until 2009 ends. This year has been the most hectic year since O'levels, 3 years ago. This year was filled with never ending assignments, presentations, project and examinations. This year was also filled with distance from close friends, but not to forget this year was filled with laughs and smiles, new friends, celebrations and not forgetting the beginning of every individual's potential self.

I don't celebrate Christmas, but we did have a barbecue yesterday at Berakas beach. It was one of the many things that the Mister and I would come up randomly and call our friends over to join us. We've been doing it quite a lot this year, and I personally hope, there will be more of these random activities with the Mister and friends. *smiles.

Happy Faces.

2009-12-24T19:15:00.000+08:00

Clickidy clickidy click!

21st.

2009-12-22T02:27:00.000+08:00

A very happy 21st birthday to a very dear person in my life in this lifetime.

Today is such a special day, it marks the 21st year of your life on earth. *smiles

May this year, be the year where everything starts off with a BANG for you.

I believe in you. Have a good one and last but not least,

I love you.. Happy birthday aki boy!

Routine.

2009-12-18T22:52:00.002+08:00

Its towards the fourth week of holiday now, and I haven't done much. All I do is the same ol' routine. Wake up, shower, head out, come back, stare into the laptop for hours, stay up all night, sleep, slack, bum around, be with the boyfriend, end up doing nothing and right now, nothing is what I am doing - aside from sending my CVs that's it really.

I thought I'd be doing so much this time of year, but seems like there's quite a number of setbacks.

Today.

2009-12-17T00:55:00.002+08:00

Congratulations.

2009-12-12T17:56:00.000+08:00

I know it has been awhile, I've been busy since early this month with preparations for my sister's nikah. It has been hectic, but at the end of the day, the hard work paid off. I did my part well as the floor manager and running all those errands. Ensuring everything is in place and everything is within reach. Congratulations to my sister and welcome brother in-law.*smiles.

Different.

2009-11-29T02:18:00.000+08:00

Its different. Things feel different since the day we said our goodbyes. Had a farewell brunch which was a success, and in return a few tears. For the very first time everyone witnessed our guys crying. It was overwhelming to know that they aren't robots afterall. Two and a half years, I spent my mornings and afternoons with endless gossips, laughs, sarcastic jokes, silent treatments, and the day finally came and its over.

I don't think I've been myself lately, I have been a little quiet at some point. I admit I am still feeling sad for not seeing 12 other faces everyday, and another 12 faces of the other group, not forgetting the instructors. Its just different. I am missing these 24 people I have known for the past two and half years, we've grown together as a family and now, what's left is just memories, both good and bad. Well, I do hope everyone is fine and wish all of you the best of luck in whatever you do.

"we laughed at the beginning, and ended up crying our eyes out at the end of the day"

Mood Swings.

2009-11-24T22:20:00.000+08:00

I tend to get bored easily lately. There is like limited things to do in the evening nowadays. You know that feeling when you feel like you need to do something and go somewhere just for the sake of not getting bored? That's me right now. I am bored shitless right now, I have no idea what to do. I've done my preparations for tomorrow's function and there's nothing left to do. I haven't showered since I got back from college, and I feel so freakin' lazy right now. *sighs. College ends in about 48 hours. I feel relief and sad at the same time. I don't know what I am right now. As of now, I feel pissy and all that. I don't know what's with the mood swings right now. It sucks!

2009-11-23T12:53:00.000+08:00

...what lies within

Disturbed.

2009-11-22T16:51:00.000+08:00

I still don't get it sometimes, when you know and you think it's inappropriate to text or call someone who is committed already, and say words like "i miss you". What are you trying to say actually? I know its like a friend thing, but don't you think that at some point the other party would find out and find it a little disturbing don't you think? Once an ex, always and ex, I admit I do this sometimes, but I actually don't say these words. I just tend to ask how are they doing, and don't actually bring up the whole "do you remember this and that and how we used to this and do that bla bla bla" crap.

I find it inappropriate and I find it a little disturbing when a third party says "i know this may come inappropriate, but i miss you".

In my opinion, if you do know and think its inappropriate, think before you actually do these things, cause these things could jeopardize something that is intact and running smoothly. There's always a reason why we don't hear from people that we've known for quite sometime already, cause maybe, just maybe they think its wise to not hurt one's feelings.

Freaking Out.

2009-11-20T23:29:00.000+08:00

I'm freaking out and scared, went to the study fair this afternoon and looked for unies, found one that was available to go to and asked around. The only uni that gives out HND for my course was UWIC, the lady that was talking to me was nice. I got an application form off her. Considering the scholarship, I on the other hand don't think I can make it to the UK to further my studies. I'm having doubts in myself with my results. I don't think my GPA can get through. *sighs.

Talked to mom about how if I can't get through with the scholarship, asked her if she's willing to send me off to further my studies even if it means I've to study in KL. She said she is but I've to make a commitment with her and make promises.

The thought of leaving loved ones behind is sad and it scares me at the same time. I'm having doubts whether I'm ready for this or not. I actually don't want to leave but I do wanna leave cause its for the sake of having a brighter future. I suppose I've to swallow it all in and just get a move along with it, right?

A little somethin' somethin'.

2009-11-19T14:51:00.000+08:00

I've been meaning to update but really I've nothing to update. *sighs. The only thing that I can think of is that I've got a week of school left and that I've got a shoot to do and it's been raining lately that we've got to reschedule like a lot of times. I got myself a simple dress yesterday, spent a little time with the mister and stayed home as per usual, I say usual as it has been like this for a couple of weeks already.

I'm all well from the fever and viral infection illness. Those antibiotics really did their jobs. I've got to think of what I need to be doing after the 26th. I know I'll be busy next week as it is my cousin's wedding.

Well I think I should be off now, figure out things to do.

Toodles!

It is coming to an end.

2009-11-17T11:30:00.000+08:00

The end is near my friends. 26th November is just round the corner and we won't be seeing each other as much as we normally do. Its sad to know that two and a half years have come to an end, but the days we've spent together and the moments we've been through together will always be great memories. Good luck everyone with your future.

Its a little too soon.

2009-11-14T04:00:00.000+08:00

I love the feeling to this picture, I like the wall paper and oh must I say last weekend was a good one. *smiles. It's 3:54am and I am suppose to be asleep, but I just finished watching 7 episodes of Eastwick. I find it a good series, and I wish I had powers.

I've been doing great since the last hospital visit, doing just fine. I'm thankful for it. College's pretty much over, I've got to sort out my leaving certificate and its sad how two and a half years actually have passed. It just felt like yesterday that I entered college. I don't think I'd be seeing everyone that much anymore after our last day.*sighs. Why does it have to end huh?

I guess its time to say our goodbyes pretty soon. The part which everyone hates.

Scared.

2009-11-11T22:35:00.000+08:00

I saw study in UK banner today on the road while I was out with the mister. I told that I've got to go there to look for uni cause I am still thinking of furthering my studies. 10-15 minutes passed by, and I was pretty quiet. He noticed the silence and asked what's up.

I said with honesty, that I was scared of leaving home though I've been dying to. I'm scared of leaving home and scared of leaving everyone behind, but I've gotta do what I've gotta do to pursue my studies don't I? And the fact that I've to leave him behind as well, that made me more scared. *sighs

But hey, let's hope for the best. Hope everything goes as planned.

Medical Attention.

2009-11-10T10:42:00.000+08:00

At last, I got some proper medical attention last night. Fever and pain did not want to go away and I've no idea what's the cause - until now though, but glad that we went for a second visit last night eventhough it took us 5 hours plus to be in the hospital.

I got a tube of blood taken, two tubes of piss taken, x-rays taken, a huge syringe of antibiotics given and a bottle of iv fluid given. Feeling a tad bit better, though I had to go through shit load of pain with the needles. Atleast this time I've got all the medical attention I needed.

Now my hand hurts cause of the aftermath of that stupid iv fluid needle. *sighs.

Well I must thank the mister for bringing me back and forth to the hospital and taking care of me, eventhough he had nothing to do while waiting, actually he did, but he didn't bother to play his PSP. *giggles.

Syukur Alhamdulillah.

2009-11-07T15:38:00.000+08:00

And so, all the results for the end test last month came out and I am very satisfied with it.

Event Management = Distinction
Tour Operation = Merit
World Tourism = Merit
Sustainable Tourism = Merit
Introduction to Management = Pass
Marketing for Tourism = Pass

This is all for written paper, overall results are not out yet. *fingers crossed.

It has to stop.

2009-11-06T08:13:00.000+08:00

I'm tired. Tired to have to feed myself with Panadol. I've had atleast 16 tablets since Tuesday night already. *sigh. Last night, I felt like puking it all out. Its not a nice feeling. Eugh!

Results.

2009-11-04T15:01:00.000+08:00

I fell sick last night, like suddenly fell sick. I was actually feeling alright at first, went to fetch the boyfriend, headed to the tailor, went for dinner, this is when I started to feel cold when its actually warm already. Kept on whining and complaining how cold it was. Had to get myself a blankie before we went to watch a movie. I seriously fell sick last night, it was so sudden that it made me look oh so fucked. *sighs

But now, I'm feeling much better. Head's doing fine, temperature under control, hope it was just a 12 hour fever thing. *fingers crossed.

Oh and today, I was told that I got a Merit for my Sustainable Tourism's End Test. *smiles.

So that means, three merits and a pass for 4 subjects on my end test.

Tour Operations: Merit
World Tourism: Merit
Introduction to Management: Pass
Sustainable Tourism: Merit
Event Management:
Marketing for Tourism:

Just two more subjects to wait for.

Random.

2009-11-02T21:44:00.000+08:00

I managed to go for my Language and Communication's final assessment which is the interview this morning. I think I did well, and just after that I went straight to the boyfriend's to disturb him sleep until I fall asleep myself. *smiles

So we woke up at about lunch time and went out for a little, went back to his place after getting stuff and got things done just then.

Headed back home to an empty house, well just the little ones and maid. Stared into the laptop, and still am, well showered ofcourse, and still downloading series. Getting a little bored right about now. *giggles.

Recent Boards Blades Battle 2009.

2009-11-01T14:58:00.000+08:00

Board Blades Battle 2009 from Bahrum Jaili on Vimeo.

Play this too!

Good bye October.

2009-11-01T14:36:00.000+08:00

It's the month of November already, and that just means that 2009 is about to end pretty soon. I have been quite busy with my personal life lately and I must say I am in my most happiest state ever. There's projects coming up and two more school assessments to go.

Tomorrow's the Language and Communication Interview which I've to look for my certificates by now, and Tuesday's a final assessment on Sustainable Tourism and it's a case study.

Things have been great, attended a few events already, and its quite a change of scene. Next weekend is Naz's annual gathering, and the next weekend is Micbandits' gig. I'm a little excited for Naz's thing, but I've yet to pull some strings together for the theme. *sighs I think I can manage. Well I think so.

Last night was Pelangi Awards and I must say it was a success and went to a little Halloween gathering just after and went back home just as planned, by 2 a.m. *smiles.

I guess that's for now. I'll rant some more next time.

Untitled.

2009-10-31T12:31:00.000+08:00

Lately.

2009-10-30T19:43:00.000+08:00

Things have rather been alright so far, with things to do after exams I can say I'm a little prepared for the world. So far, I've got three merits from three subjects and I am happy with it. I must say, been out a lot and I must say things are far different from last year. Met up with a good friend last night and it always always reminds me of how everyone met. Its always nice to feel that you've got friends behind your back supporting you without you realising and helping you out in many ways to get you somewhere.

I like it here, I do not know how to face it next year if I have to leave. *sighs

Over and Done!

2009-10-28T12:59:00.000+08:00

It is finally over. The reading, the revising, the rewriting, the answering, the spilling of brain juices, everything is done! Finally!

To top my day today, some of the results came out and I am happily satisfied with them.

Well off to catch up with sleep.

All Nighter.

2009-10-28T03:30:00.000+08:00

I seriously need some sleep, but that would mean risking time to try and wake up and read again, which I doubt will happen.

That concludes pulling an all nighter.

Sustainable Tourism

2009-10-28T03:18:00.000+08:00

Definition:

"..development that meets the needs of present without compromising the activity of the future generation to meet their own needs" Brundtland Report, 1987.

It means that it helps to create a better life for the present population in a way that it is viable for the future generation to use as well.

There are 9 Principles of Sustainable Tourism;

It covers all scope concerning from environment, economic, social, cultural. political as well as mangerial.
Long term thinking, making awareness of the limits to what is being achieve.
Introductory of a proper policy, planning and management in tourism development.
Emphasizing on limitations and recognizing its limits.
Consulting stakeholders on decision making, encourage exchanges as well as compromising over the use of resources.
Recognizing and supporting the identity of development, seek the interest of local as far as possible
Identifying a proper area to be utilized for economic benefit
Minimizing environmental and cultural issues and impacts
Maintaining tourist satisfaction.

Three Dimension of Sustainable Tourism includes; Environmental, Socioculture, Economic = Stability of Destination

Environmental is defined as a relation to the natural surrounding and the implication of human activity on its condition which includes the natural and building components.

The quality of an environment is important for the success of tourism destination as well as for the residents and tourists. There are many attractions being built for tourist which generates environmental impacts.

Environmental Impacts can be divided into two:

Positive Impacts which covers:

Conservation ; important natural areas, archaeological and historic sites, architectural character.
Improvement ; environmental quality, infrastructure
Enhancement of environment
Increasing environmental awareness

Negative Impacts:

Pollution; air, water, noise and visual
Waste disposal problems
Ecological disruptions
Damage to archaeological and historical sites
Land use problems

Tourism can be harmful to the environment but at the same time it is beneficial as it motivates the stakeholders to conserve resources. Raising awareness and providing new uses for neglected buildings by developing new attractions.

Socio-culture denotes the community of people living in a particular country with attitudes and behavior which characterizes them in a social group.

It tends to be given less attention as it does not give an immediate impact to tourism.

Advantages and Disadvantages;

Heritage

Benefits; improvement in quality, greater attention paid to conserve

Negative; constructing without traditional architectural styles, theft of artifacts, censorship (not to upset tourists)

Language

Benefits; interest in conversing local language if seen as an attraction

Negative; introduction of foreign words, pressured locals to converse with tourist whom are unable to speak the local language

Religion

Benefits; growth in respect

Negative; loss of spirituality at religious sites

Traditional Arts

Benefits; new markets, renewal of traditional art form

Negative; pressure of replacing and modifying crafts to meet the demand

Traditional Lifestyle

Benefits; increases awareness

Negative; growing influence of foreign media, new eating habits.

Values and Behaviour

Benefits; adopting positive aspects of tourist

Negative; growth of crime, reduces level of personal morality

Host Population

Benefits; in-migration of dynamic people to the community, reduces depopulation

Negative; domination by immigrants

Demonstration effect; exposure of locals to foreign lifestyle which has an impact on local's expectations and lifestyle of their own.

Social Dimensions; (Swarbrooke 1999)

Equity; stakeholders being treated equally
Equal opportunities; both employees and the industry
Ethnics; honest with tourist and ethical in dealing with suppliers
Equal Partners; serving as equal as partners not as inferiors

Melayu Islam Beraja; a country ruled according to an established Islamic values and traditions by the Monarch - Society, Culture, National and Religion

Economic as the wealth and resources of a country, in terms of production and consumption of goods and services.

It is said to be the primary reason of developing tourism in an area, where it provides main force for tourism development as well as having an experienced growth in service sectors when traditional manufacturing sectors decline.

Advantages;

Job creation
Increase income to local economy
Helps local business
Regenerates and reconstructs economies when other sources are in decline
Stimulates investments

Disadvantages;

Low paid and seasonal jobs
Opportunity cost; money invested in tourism cannot be used for other purposes
Congestion
Need of investing expensive infrastructure which is required for part of the year (Sepang F1 Circuit)
Over dependence on tourism, host economy becomes vulnerable to changes in tourism market.

Multiplier Effect; income which circulates around the local economy in series of waves with the aim to maximize tourist expenditure and minimizing leakages of tourism income from local economy.

High leakage usually occurs in developing countries with the lack of expertise and heavy importing eg. Brunei.

Low leakage usually occurs in developed countries as they have expertise and secondary production.

Towards economically viable form of tourism;

optimizing economic benefits while minimizing economic costs
ensuring the wide spread of benefits among the economically disadvantaged sections of local population
ensuring fair payment price for tourist's holiday experience
sharing the cost of attracting and meeting the needs of tourist fairly
protecting local business from unfair competitions
reducing leakages from local economy

Stakeholders needs to be balanced as there is no point having policy of sustainability development of none anticipate with the policy. It is difficult to reach agreement with stakeholders due to there are many stakeholders involved in sustainable tourism development field.

A sustainable destination will recognize of satisfying all stakeholders in the long term, only several stakeholders have both compatible and conflicting interest.

Destination Stakeholders includes;

Indigenous people who are the most important stakeholders as they live and work at the destination and provides resources to visitors. It is important to involve the local community in decision making and ensuring tourism does not bring unacceptable impacts to local people and their home
Tourists in search of a satisfying experience with high quality service and well managed and organised destinations
The industry being responsible of existing development and seeks adequate return on investment

The industry;

Global Player; multinational, well resourced with capital, expertise and power. Often have limited interest and commitment to destinations.

Niche Player; traditionally small, family based with lack of capital, expertise, qualified human resource and influence of the destination.

don't mind me, i've got the toughest paper to revise for, and i am deeply in need of sleep. *sighs

Obsession.

2009-10-27T01:48:00.001+08:00

...and that's my boyfriend, partner in crime, happiness and not forgetting love.

(talk about being obsessed)

Us.

2009-10-25T22:18:00.000+08:00

I love you.

Three More.

2009-10-24T11:01:00.000+08:00

Today was Introduction to Management, I managed to give answers to the required questions. I just hope this paper lands a Merit.

Tour Operation's result came out today, and I manage to bag myself a Merit. One down, six more results to go.

As of now, I am in need of some rest before doing another revision. Have a great weekend, cause I have a feeling I will. *smiles

17th October - Tour Operations 0830-1010
22nd October - Event Management - 0830-1010
24th October - Introduction to Management - 0830-1010
26th October - World Tourism - 0830-1010
27th October - Marketing for Tourism - 0830-1010
28th October - Sustainable Tourism - 0830-1010

Fingers crossed.

2009-10-23T13:27:00.000+08:00

Hopefully this will pay off. *sighs.

Just a little bit more.

2009-10-22T22:59:00.000+08:00

Two papers down, four more to go. I actually didn't manage to re-read my notes cause the notes were all jumbled up and it was difficult for me to even reorganize it. *sighs. But nonetheless, I managed to pull it through with the whole paper.

Great news, we managed to get a distinction for our Marketing assignment. *wide smile.

As of now, I'm suppose to continue rewriting and reorganize what to read for Saturday's paper. *sigh.

~~17th October - Tour Operations 0830-1010~~

~~22nd October - Event Management - 0830-1010~~
24th October - Introduction to Management - 0830-1010
26th October - World Tourism - 0830-1010
27th October - Marketing for Tourism - 0830-1010
28th October - Sustainable Tourism - 0830-1010

In Need of Sleep.

2009-10-22T03:06:00.000+08:00

I can't sleep, it is 3 in the morning and I have a freakin' paper to sit at 830 later, and I have not covered everything just yet. I dislike the notes given cause it is all jumbled up. *sighs. I think I'm still awake just because I'm a little worried about the paper and that I had coffee like 4-5 hours ago? *sighs.

Minshara Sayer.

2009-10-20T00:15:00.000+08:00

A very happy birthday to you my girlfriend.

I miss you lots and we shall have a date very soon.

Love always, yours truly.

Five More To Go.

2009-10-18T19:29:00.000+08:00

Finals just started yesterday, and hey it went well I must say. Well, I won't be blogging as much around this time. Got reading to be done with. *smiles

~~17th October - Tour Operations 0830-1010~~

22nd October - Event Management - 0830-1010
24th October - Introduction to Management - 0830-1010
26th October - World Tourism - 0830-1010
27th October - Marketing for Tourism - 0830-1010
28th October - Sustainable Tourism - 0830-1010

Best of luck to final year students!

Thanks!

2009-10-14T07:26:00.002+08:00

Competition.

2009-10-12T17:32:00.001+08:00

Something to go to on a Sunday!

Random Update.

2009-10-12T12:08:00.001+08:00

Its the mid of October, and I've been given a lot of revision papers to do. *sighs. But it's okay, it gets me prepared and I'm determined that I can succeed with my final year. Not too confident now, but I am sure I could proceed to undertaking University level.

There's pretty much nothing to update but hey, keep on coming back for other random updates.

Friendship.

2009-10-08T18:50:00.000+08:00

As time goes by, in our journey, we'll always find that some friends fade away and you never hear from them again, but at the same time through the journey of our lives, we make new friends to make new memories.

Thick and Thin.

2009-10-07T19:15:00.000+08:00

It Has Been.

2009-10-06T16:50:00.000+08:00

It seems like it has been ages since I last stepped on writing stuff, hasn't it?

My oh my, look at the time. It's October already, less than two months, 2009 is ending. Shitload of things have happened, both good and bad, and I'm not complaining.

My first week of October, started great. Attended the Sounds of Hope and it was worth it I must say. I've met new people last weekend and got reunited with old friends. It made me realize of how far things have gone, and I really appreciate the people around me.

It has been a year since I've slightly changed circles, and last weekend was a great one. I guess I needed it just to remind me who I am in other people's lives and to remind me who they are to me.

I really appreciate having those kind of circle of friends, or must I say family of friends in my life.

PS: Click this cause this means so much to a lot of people. A great singer-friend and a great adviser(sp?) friend did this.

Procrastinating.

2009-09-29T22:49:00.000+08:00

"the act of putting off or delaying or defering an action to a later time"

Yes, I am procrastinating, and I even googled it up again just because I can. I have an assignment due this Thursday and I am here, just staring into the screen because I don't wanna do it just yet. I know I should but I need some inspiration. I've gotta admit, the more I procrastinate, the more I get stressed about the whole thing getting done.

I've got another assignment due on the 15th and end test starts on the 19th and ends on the 29th.

Just another month goddamnit Fydah! Get your shit together and make your way through college!

Uni life next year and workload is going to be more than you're getting now! Pull your strings together before its too late!

I might just die of boredom.

2009-09-27T00:06:00.000+08:00

I got so bored today after coming back from the Mister's and I ended up playing around with make up. Well atleast the make up wasn't a waste as I went out for a little bit to Mentiri to Raya with the family and head back home again to nothing, chilled downstairs infront of the tele cause I had nothing better to do. Pooz!

Back to college on Monday and here's to a couple of hectic months ahead!

330th Post.

2009-09-24T23:09:00.000+08:00

I love this photo taken by my Abang Myrull. It's so candid. Well raya spirit just died on me. I don't really feel the festivities anymore. Boofreakin'hoo! Assignments piling up, I've got three assignments to hand in and there's one pending assignment and then mid October, say hello to end test! Woot woot! Fingers crossed I must say.

Well I don't have much to update, oh yeah, I bought a freakin' flash for the BBF. *smiles.

Second Day.

2009-09-23T10:40:00.000+08:00

Second day of eid wasn't that bad. Drove myself to Tutong to meet up with the rest of the family. I must say second day was a tiring one. But nonetheless was a good tiring day.

I collected more dosh! *grins.

That's it for now.

First Day of Eid.

2009-09-21T17:31:00.000+08:00

First day isn't that bad though the mister had to wear baju melayu, that's a little funny but nonetheless he looked good in it. *smiles. This year is a little different cause we didn't go to KB like the years before. We stayed in Bandar this year since there's no one in KB to visit.

We only went to three houses today, tomorrow is a big day just like the years before which is good i suppose.

Well that's it for my first day of eid. Have a good memorable one girls and boys around the globe!

Eid Mubarak.

2009-09-19T21:03:00.000+08:00

I'd like to take this chance to seek forgiveness for all my wrong doings and sayings, judgements and everything else that I might have done directly and indirectly.

I hope you can find that little space in your heart to forgive me.

To all my family and friends, this is one of the days that we've all been waiting for, the day we all seek for forgiveness and here's to another year of Eid together.

Yours Truly.
Fydah AR and Family.